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Dating boyfriend for 3 years

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We regret to inform you that Y is breaking up with you.

Although you've had a good run and shared some great memories along the way, it's time to move on.

Hence the allure of simply fading away, of leaving no trace. X is a gay man in his 30s from a small town in southern Ireland. X has not seen his husband since, other than fleetingly.

Of side-stepping the unpleasantness of tears, anger, pleading, raging. Resident in the UK, he and his partner were together seven years. Requests for conciliation, or even a face-to-face meeting, were turned down.

While to most people over the age of 12 this may sound so bad it's funny, it is in fact feeding off a phenomenon known as 'ghosting'.

Ghosting is when one half of a couple ends the relationship by vanishing.

Because you can't - you're too busy processing the break up.

And yes, all the normal break-up rules apply to ghosting - your relationship may have just disappeared in a puff of digital smoke, but that does not mean it is hiding at the bottom of a bottle of vodka, Rioja, or ice cream tub. Also, while anger and resentment are corrosive and counterproductive, being ghosted can make you feel perversely superior; it is easier to feel you are better off without someone who has ghosted you than someone who has taken you out for dinner and gently dumped you over dessert.

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He lives in the family home - his parents have passed on.I have begged him numerous times but he never seems interested, he always stops before we get there!This leaves me feeling terrible and also annoyed at him.Some months later, an unexpected medical situation resulted in brush with death for me, and he sent a series of loving message that made me wonder if a reconciliation were possible.Despite being ghosted, there are no feelings of rancour in me, just a wish to understand what happened, and to make it right. Obviously, people fall in and out of love every day.You can even get a stranger to call your soon-to-be ex to break the news that you are no longer with them.